Entry 26
Saturday, May 22, 2004

I have had a wonderful day today. Haiz, wonderful indeed. But bad in some ways. I went to school but almost dozed off the entire lessons. Don blame me diary, I have had not enough sleep this days. I have been frekaing busy with all this stupid enrichment courses and lectures at other schools so it only makes sense if I feel lethargic in school. But i shall not bother neither shall I elaborate.

I had to slap and pinch myself all over just to keep myself awake all throughout. I was tired and that is weird for someone like me. I do not tire myself just by not having enough sleep. But I shall not comment on the bad but the good. Okae, kind of have to admit, I have not been having a good day. And that is not good for me. HaiZ, during mother tongue, someone from my class had a rather nasty fight to the extent that two members of the staff had to get themselves involved. That was not all top good.

I have this feeling that I should elaborate on all this nonsense of bad thingies. I donno why but this intuition tells me to do so but I shan't. No point risking people's privacy and humiliation. Then after school, Alwin and Sufyan told me about the History project and I was feeling really down. I have not done till now. And that really sucks. I hate History and some more, on that riot nonsense. Cannot be bothered, but I am going to do for the sake of my marks.

After school, went to River Valley High School, kind of run down. Saw Jiang Ning and her fellow congregation of RGS schoolmates. I felt like the earth would open up and swallow me. I immediately hid behind Cassandra and Vickie but I think that she saw me. She gave me a rather puzzled look, for she does not know of my transfer. But she did trry to approach me but Vickie blocked her view. Thanks, Vic, owe you one.

Pause here.. Continue soon.

I am back after a few hours of sleep and a lot of hours spent on my school. I feel that there is an imbalance in the educational system and my life but what can I do? I cannot change the educational system, now can I? So I shall remain neutral. I will not take sides. No point, anyway. Continueing from where I stopped yesterday. Okae, so Jiang Ning and her RGS congregation was there and I haven't had the faintest idea as to why she was there. Surely she would not be under the peer tutoring programme? RGS being taught by RVHS students, sounds weird all by its own. I had pointed out this to Shanthi on the way home later and she seemed scandalized as I said it in front of two RVHS hunks. They are very well-endowed in physical development. Gosh, Jolin was right. Hee hee. Jolin, if you are reading this, I want to say that I am sorry for my misconception that day.

So we went to the auditorium. RVHS is a chimm school so the hall must not be called a "hall" but an "auditorium" Keeping up with the school's satndard, I suppose. Waited there till the teacher in charge came and gave a short briefing and also paired us up. I really felt inferior as I stood up and followed a short and rather cute guy from secondary three. He seemed to be from secondary 1 but he was quite muscular also despite his small body frame. After exchanging friendly greetings and wating for his other buddy who paired up with Peter, we went to the designated classroom. I initially thought that the school was new but it was kind of run down. But nice and inviting all the same.

We were given a stack of worksheets to be done. I practically skimmed thorugh everything. So proud of myself. My mentor's name is Yan Fong. He is so pro, make me learn the formulas by heart, that helped me a lot. So happy. He's aggreagate is 257, so jealous! I do not care, I cannot lose out. He may be in River Valley High School, but I have to prove myself worthy of academical excellence. I think I wanna try Anglo-Chinese Independent School. The school so chio wan, I love schools which are chio.

After school, I went to BP Plaza to buy the ear lugs for my study sessions. They were rather expensive, but I am not complaining. At least it would help me with my studies. I reached home almost at eleven. Because I had to buy my own dinner and everything would be mine for the night as my parents were at a function. What function? Don ask me. I did not bother to ask them. Go figure. =)

I seem pretty arrogant aren't I? ; ) I cannot deny that I guess, but I try to minimize it at all cause. Yes, but it shall be hard. Like the saying, habits die hard. Thanks ****** for shedding light into my darkened life. I think that I owe you too. Just like Vickie. But I do not think I owe you more than that. I may owe you some fewe bucks, but the emotional damage you caused in my heart, can never be repaid. It is left unmended.

At home, did some things. Bathed and the normal nightly routine. Nothing special. Except that I visited some porn websites. Juz kidding. = ) I don dare too. Later masturbate too much. I want to stay incredibly virile. Hee hee, everyone's right, I am a sadist. Especially when it comes to sex.

Damn me, I am disgusting sometimes. No wonder it is so easy for people to be laughing their heads off at my corny jokes. All so vivid and mushy. Hee hee. But someone shall never laugh. Samantha.

I do not know what has happened to her. Ever since that time we went out together, she is different. She is no longer cheerful around me, she is more hostile and more reserved. I feel lyk I have done something wrong and I cannot help but feeling guilty. Am I at fault because I did not make the trip in a group. Was it my fault I made it a date? Was it my fault the news spread like wildfire? Am I to be blamed?

I am sorry Samantha if I am at fault. I seriously cannot decide whether I am at fault or not. Hee hee. : S haiZ.

I shall stop here. My head is spinning and I better go get some rest from all the hours that I have missed.

Bye bye, diary