Entry 63
Saturday, July 3, 2004

forza portugal.

i woke up today at about three. man. i seriously do not know what has gotten into me. maybe because i cried so much yesterday that i became so exhausted. i was really tired that i slept. .. seriously beyond expectations. and i really do not know how the shit am i going to fall asleep today.

oh yes, madeline. if it is any consolation to you, i shall say that i am bessotted with a girl. so you can now jump around and celebrate. after all, that was what you wanted me to confess now didnt you? i am pissed, you have gotten that right. and seemingly, i feel really stupid that i love this girl when i know that she doesnt even trusted me yet as we have only known each other for a week? or two?

i feel so pained now. how i wish that somehow:

i can cry and let emotions flow free.
tell her that i like her a lot.
die after that confession.

and that would be so fun!

well, my provance account is giving me fucking problems. and asides from that, my other diary account is getting lots of comments and views. how indeed happy i am right now.

life's the same for me currently. asides from added pressure and activities and homework and studies, there is nothing more than that at the moment. i have just taken things as they come. and preparing for my ee. as for xinmin, i do not know how is her prepping coming along. oh well. none of my business. i shant blurt out too much about this as it is private.

and i hereby declare that the crying smileys sucks! i feel that it is so damn lame. smileys that show sadness do not bring across true messages and it is something that many of my friends agree with. yea.

i read around some others' blogs. and i came across this person who seems to be someone who has very deep feelings and seemingly, i seriously am envious of him being able to write utmost deep thoughts onto script so well.

oh well. nothing is ever impossible if you try hard.

i shall go do my homework now.