Entry 69
Friday, July 16, 2004

life is kind of taking a turn and is getting much better. asides from some talking and whatever shit, life is going on great. and i am actually happy. yeah. but yeap, as always, my happiness is somehow always accompanied by some slight bitterment. (bitterment? i think that i have made up that word. oh wells.)

i have been going to the library many times this week to study and do assignments and stuff. went usually with xinmin, atikah, cass, vic and zijia. and they sessions have been fun and great at the library. i find jurong regional library much more better and more comtemplated than the woodlands regoinal library. i feel that the one in jurong has the feeling of coziness and that is something i look for in every library.

yesterday was kind of okae i guess. i went to the library with victoria and zijia. we somehow did not manage to get much done yesterday. we were quarreling too much over every single matter there. and attracted many eyes. and zijia had the nerve to put her mobile phone to normal mode and what pissed me off was that it rang every few minutes. argh. and i guess that the two of us somehow got into a quarrel. we were talking about how much we hated each others guts and whatever crap. and somehow, victoria was so interested in our bickering, she just laid down on her bean bag and stared at the two of us screaming our heads off, much to the surprise of the other users of the library.

yeah. on the way home, we were giving each other the cold shoulders. i seriously felt guilty. i mean. i am the guy. so i guess that i should be the one to be apologising. and so i did. i called her and practically had to beg her for forgiveness. argh. fine. whatever.

and i now hereby declare that i hate similarity and congruency. i just do not understand the stupid concept of transferral of one figure from another and whatever fucking shit it has to hold as a topic. i still believe that pythagoras theorem rocks. ahaha. of all times to be talking about mathematics topics. my friends would think that i am mad. btw, thanks jiawen, for teaching me all the formulas beforehand. appreciate it a lot.

oh ya. i would like to say something. yesterday, as i was going home, i saw alrie (name changed to allow anonymity). i have a mind to believe that she saw me. she was wearing a look of pure hatred and disgust. i felt so angry with her somehow. well, over jojo and other stuffs that she has tricked me into believing. i did consider letting flow of all my vulgarities at her. oh wells. i know that thats evil. maybe i am overreacting. i just hate her racism and all her words. i mean. to think that i believed her words.

a lot of things are happening. but glad to know that majority are all positive. nyahahaha. okae, i am getting a bit more than just mad. hees. ryu and ian were telling me how deranged i can get. argh. as if i didnt realize it myself. well, on a lighter note, it is only for a while. whee. during the holidays, i shall make sure that i destress as much as i can. and i shall ask all my friends along. ahahaha.

well, eleen and me are getting way impossible. not like i didnt know that a long time ago. argh. i mean, she insists that we cannot be together. yeah, i was hurt. but. .. i mean, it is her decision and thus i must respect it. one has to respect other people decision now dont we? but i seriously love her a lot? and i can somehow, i can faintly sense that this love is somehow like the one i once had for jiang ning years ago. haiz. i cannot deny that either. the feeling is so strong. i can surely feel it truthfully. i am sure that i am right.'

on another lighter note. my family and i have bridged our differences and somehow, came to context with each other. but i think our family is somehow like a storm. sometimes on good terms, sometimes not. argh, oh wells. i cannot stand all those pointless quarrels anyway. that one concern is now solved. hopefully once and for all. whee.

many other things are coming and somehow i am getting stressed. five new pimples are sprouting on my face and i look like a cousin to some giant pandas from china because of my dark rings around my eyes. and somehow, some of my classmate are complaining about how much boring english lessons are. and how detestful they can sometimes get. well, yeah. i guess that the lessons for english are damn monotonous. and all the lessons are somehow pointless from our point of view and almost everyone are falling asleep in class listening to her boring sermons and lectures. despite all this obvious reactions, she still insists on continuing lessons on powerpoint and it is getting seriously irritating for me. we need practice. not theorised-based lessons. you can imagine how much some of my classmates pray for the return of our previous teacher. i also pray for her to return teaching somehow. see how desperate we can get?

okae fine. she is a good teacher. but i think that she should not pointlessly dwell on the basics over and over. she should put in practice not just based on what we have learnt. but more on writing with the skills that we have learnt in practice. that makes everything much better.

ah. i am blabbing. i am in no position to speak of all this. so i shall shut up. for now.