145; school
Monday, June 27, 2005

hahas. it seems ironic really; the fact that when we are having holidays, we are thiking of school. whilst we are in school, however, its the other way round.

funny, how the psychological factors affect our thinking and judgement really. but wells. i dont really give a damn.

the whole process of just taking a small step into the school was torment. i mean, they revamped it by adding those paints and all. it seems like pure desperation. i mean, the colours are so damn childish and kindegarten and all. it's sickening and immatured.

along with the fact that the sec three cohort has a new sitting position and it falls directly in the middle of the whole courtyard. sweet. we are in the center of attention. hell was it awkward. and balls was in front of me, and he was not bothering to say anything, as much as i was bothering on neutrality.

jestyn sat behind me just now. and he was talking about how he knew who balls was. and i was there just denying. pretending to put an innocent front. but wells. my anger got the better of me. sighs. at least the chasm between me and jestyn aint that bad. although the bond is not really efficaciously strong.

so, we were talking about balls for a little while. and the fact that this wednesday would be the launch of war of the worlds. and we decided to watch it. i have an inkling of suspicion that balls would be coming. but i dont care. heck care. i dont give a damn. i am just going to take him like a piece of transparency.

i feel horrendously bitchy about how i am nastily doing all this to balls. but wells. i guess when i have reached my limit, the whole realization and frankest thoughts just comes into mind. and so yeahhs.

i beg pardon over how my sentence arent all that proper and the english really sucks. but i am suffering from lethargy and all; and i have classes later. sucks. so i got to complete this post now.

cant stress enough the emphasis there. but yeahhs.

then jestyn told me that my present is super big. and i was there. thinking. my birthday is almost like a month ago. thats super belated. hahas. but wells. nice of them la. i cant help but feel a tinge of utmost guilt that balls actually contributed to the whole amount and all.

damn it.

everyone is trying to make me guilt-ridden.

sufyan was a bit irritating today. asking me to talk to balls. and sit beside balls during amaths. bleargh. does he want a tsunami to occur or something?

lessons were plain. the change in pe lessons are making me lose my head. mrs liang was a pain in the ass today. claiming that i was this and that. bullshit man. and she was there claiming this and that about whatever nonsense. and man. she really drives me up the wall.

after school, went to samantha's house. and slacked.

on the way home, i saw bi wen and his little entourage of gang members with the leader, zhijie, nowhere in sight. but its sickening, how they gave that sickening redundant expression on their faces. and i was there, throwing back an equally disgusting face. so yahhs.

haiguang may have stepped in to tell me to give zhijie and whoever else a chance. but really, it seems wasted on such people.

then again. i am in no position to judge.