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Sunday, August 7, 2005
i have been procrastinating since morning. it's getting on my nerves that i got to hand in a huge pile of homework and assignments tomorrow. and another pile after the national day break. it's so damn irritating, since my emotions arent even on the proper side yet.
emotions are raging thank you very much. i dont know how to how them back. since i have to probably bully my brains into doing bloody physics. anyone who loves physics can be against me all they want, but in my opinion, physics sucks. whatever would anyone bother with concepts of free fall acceleration.
i should be doing something more constructive, like heading to sentosa and sitting down on the shorelines to just cry. crying may cause a pain to the eyes and neck and back, but thats much better than hurting my brains just cracking which freaking formula to implement for the sickening question.
isaac newton can burn and die and rot in hell.
oops. i forgot. he's already dead.
=))
then there's the amaths project. till now, i've yet to do that assignment on researching on the stupid postman problem. it's so hard. all the alogarithm that has to be figured out. mrs wong is there pressurizing me. making me seem as though i am the leader.
but i dont want to lead. i want to follow but throw in opinions and ideas. leading has so many problems. like sickening uncooperative people et cetra. so seriously. i dont want to be a leader. unless it's some profession or project that i really love and like.
right now, it's been from morning since i last procrastinated about the physics homework. i seriously dont want to do it lah. it's so damn boring. so stupid. so pointless. i feel like going into a flying rage just thinking of the amount that has to be done by nine pm. no later. since tomorrow there's school.
i miss so many things now. and it's all to do with strawberry. i dont know la. i'm just awaiting for the truth. as to whether things are going to be better. or worst. it's hard just sitting ducks awaiting what is going to happen. i know everyone is worried. or rather. everyone who takes me as a friend is worried as to why i am constantly nearing a breakdown.
i seriously dont want to cause any worry. but since i myself am just trying my best to control my tears, i guess it's inevitable. right now. i shall go offline. and force. i repeat. FORCE my brain into doing physics.
byebye.
5:37 PM;