191; heart wrenched
Saturday, October 1, 2005

right now, it seems that with exams coming and with all the things that have been happening, i havent been on par or on task for that matter. it seems true that somehow all the events that have been occurring have made me feel tired, restless and sad.

went to orchard with nicole yesterday. and somehow i told her about the whole epic with pinkie/strawberry. i mean, it's true that somehow i just feel that it's over but even so i just dont bother about it. whilst it's admittedly true that i am sad with everything.

i havent been doing anything right as of now. i mean, i havent been eating well. neither have i been like doing things appropiately. like now, i am wearing something so horrendously put together, i wonder what got into my mind just now whilst i was changing. it's so stupid and ironic that some things or events can just turn around one's life.

needless to say, i've always been hoping for something much much better in life. in a sense where i thought that it's good that i admire pinkie and so on, i thought that life would be better, that i wouldnt grow anymore inferior because i thought pinkie could be the pinnacle to support my sadness.

then now, after the whole quarrel and i realize what the whole friendship had actually meant. that i am nothing and et cetra.

but i guess it's fine. i mean, from beginning i was sad and worried that the whole thing would end. but now, it's fine. i realize where i stand and you can leave. you once told me that you'd be there for me as a brother and you'd be my role model and best friend. i once smiled. now i just cry.

at least i've other friends that are there for me. you can leave.

exams are coming. and i'm growing emotional.
bye bye azri.