249; nanyang jc!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007

i miss my nanyang friends. but my wish has been granted.

mlcs rockers have asked me to join them for dinner this coming saturday. like yay! but i'm a bit doubtful and still comtemplating as to whether i should go, cause there'll be new peeps there. i don't want there to be generalisations that i'm some calafare or lightbulb or extra or whatever!

laughs. finally, i feel happy. much happier. days have still been depressing lately. with the whole dilemma over volleyball and stuff, but now, i guess my greatly dampened spirits have been uplifted somewhat.

sighs. there's plenty of stuff that i'd want to reflect here. honestly, this is the only venue that i dare to reflect on stuff without bothering as to whether people are going to judge me or not, cause i've learnt the hard way that sometimes, when you talk to friends, they either switch off, or they'd wish they were somewhere else.

no no. i'm not saying that everyone does that. it's just that, ever since my bad experience, i just don't want to face the same thing again. cause it hurts, tremendously.

just now, someone criticised me while i was changing in the toilet. remarks pertaining to my laughter. it's funny how the same people were laughing with me in the auditorium, then the next second, it's the topic of malicious gossip and hearsay.

which is simply annoying.

volleyball is going for a match tomorrow. since i'm a nobody to them, i shall bid them the best of luck here. since they're not going to bother anyway.

good luck guys!

also, i've found out that they'd cream catholic junior college's volleyball team. and if i'm not wrong, xuejin's the centre. i was talking to weihong (who somehow acknowledges the fact that i'm ultra skinny, it doesnt make me invisible) about it and he told me the outcome was 25-a single digit.

shant comment further.

pe was interesting today. laughs. did thirty pull ups, three laps of running, twenty-five dips, and twenty-three push-ups. laughs. my arms are again, in CYBERSPACE. going to do some abs and legs exercise to somewhat balance out the workout ratio. i cannot stand having an unequal workout.

i'm going to be hell sore tomorrow. but heck la.

ahhhhh. tomorrow, i've physics practical and tutorial. wonderful. thank goodness i've done the tutorial sometime back. means i can have more sleep.

napfa is coming way soon. i know that i'm going to fail. which also means that i'm going to continue going for afternoon pe, which is a quite painful thought, but i'll survive. furthermore, it's a free training session. like yay!

so ironic.

great, in the end, the contents of my post today is still pretty depressing.

criticisms. poor volleyball friendships. hellish physics lessons.

FAILING NAPFA.

sighs. this is just go great.

i don't know what to do seriously. problems are amounting badly. as far as i'm concerned, i see things much clearly now.

studies, though a major concern, especially in academic enforced society like singapore, can easily be overcome through sheer hard work, determination and priorities.

consequently, other problems like social problems, family problems and such, it's just so hard to solve. thousands of solutions may be present for you, but none might be feasible. it might also not be practical.

i so want to lean on the shoulder of my best friends right now.

because i don't think that i can solve social problems of volleyball, torturous inferiority complex of failing napfa and all that riff raff alone, without the support of the greatest friends that i've known.