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Sunday, June 3, 2007

saying goodbye to being sweet sixteen is a pain, really. i don't know. perhaps if my birthday wasn't so painful, the bid of goodbye wouldn't have come by with such a whirl of emotions.

man. yes, yes. my birthday sucked. 28052007 was tremendously disappointing for me. i didnt have anyone to cherish it with. just cherished it by slacking at home alone, receiving sms after sms congratulating me on turning seventeen.

it was sweet really. i just had hoped to meet with some of them for just a while. i miss them so much. it's like a constant heartache to recall sweet memories, be it in shuqun, nanyang or anderson, and not be able to see them face to face.

i guess it's the clique thing. we've all moved on to a certain degree. one time, a mathematics lecturer in nanyang said that after a while, you'll lose all your secondary school friends and contacts and this cycle of destruction continues. when you leave jc, uni and wherever you step foot in life.

it's such a miserable thought. i don't wait to lose friends. i want to gain friends. they're the light of my life. after friends come family, laughing and food like chocolate and ice cream! (:

losing friends should be ruled out of the 1001 facts of nature.

cause it ain't fair to anyone.

sighs. guess i've expelled some hot steam that has been building in me. i don't know. i really dont' mind being alone on my birthday, however, the sentimental part of me just wanted a little company from my beloved friends for just a while. i mean, a minute would suffice, really.

since a minute is so great as compared to the measly reality that i didnt get a chance to meet anyone at all.

okay. enough. enough with the emotions. dispense with all the trauma and complaints.

*INHALES DEEPLY

i'm trying to prevent myself from hyperventilating, you see. (:

ahhh. a smiley. makes me feel rejuvenated, in an awkward and stupid way. laughs.

i got a haircut yesterday with my darling xinmin! yesssss. haiguang thinks that it looks as though i was so depressed that i took a shaver and shaved it all off.

WRONG!

i just cut it shorter! (:

no more floppy fringes and thick hair. check out my friendster at this address to see how my hair was before. my fringe was so long!

i personally found it a tad annoying to be fingering through my hair everytime the wind blew it askew. so now, i've no problem.

my hair is short! ((:

yes! bliss!

eleventh june is coming closer. i cannot wait. i really can't! it'll be an utter camwhore, bitching, gossiping session. plus loads of eating, laughter, fun and happiness. things i've long yearned to have more of! (:

yeahh. hmmm. most probably asking jazzy out to accompany get my ipod on the ninth! wheeee! euphoria! ((:

euphoria men, by calvin klein. laughs. so random. but the fragrance is so hot.

on the tenth, i hope to go out with cass, ak and xinmin. most probably to steamboat. or perhaps a nice chat at haagen dazs or something. we'll see. let our creative juices flow with ideas on where to go!

we rock! ask howsun too! scrabblers UNITE!

((:

i'm going computer shopping tomorrow. wonder if xinmin is free. if not, i'll ask cass or ak or someone. whose willing to accompany me? sms me yeahh! laughs.

okay, that was soooo unnecessary.

too much knowledge can kill you.

that's a saying that i thought of. it sounds familiar to me though. i wonder if i read it or heard of it someplace or somewhere. i just love the saying.

take the supernatural encounter that my aunt had. now that i am aware of such an occurrence, i often ponder as to how i'd react if i came face to face with something supernatural.

would i faint? would i be rooted to the spot? or would i somehow realise that i can commune with the supernatural?

laughs. they seem like really crazed speculation, dont they? (:

but you'll never know what might come true, till you experience and face something like that.

oooooooooh. terence is a meanie. laughs. he called me yesterday and we were just talking about cca, studies and all. he laughed at me!

he laughed at the fact that i failed my lecture tests. laughed at the fact that i'm training against the wall for volleyball and that i failed my napfa.

IDIOT! i hate him can? such a puerile moron.

so mean. i felt like ten times more inferior the moment he said all those things. mean, mean, mean idiotic terence siu from pugilistic society of nanyang junior college! someone murder him for me please! okay, i'm kidding. i don't wish my friend to get murdered okay? i'm nice.

laughs. okay. stop those vomit. and prevent all your disgusting eyeballs from falling out of their sockets. it's a gruesome sight, believe me.

((:

it's okay. i guess all those things he laughed at were also my mistakes. i didnt take the tests seriously. my mistake. i didnt choose the cca wisely. my mistake. i didnt train for napfa. my mistake.

though i hate to admit it, i guess his laughing spree did knock some sense into me. but i don't deny that it was in a very painful way!

thanks big brooooo!

i'm going to my aunt's house later, which is the only reason that i'm actually writing this post. seems more blogworthy to me, in comparison to previous drafts i made in the past week that pales in comparison to all my posts in my blog.

i really hate writer's block. that too, should be exonerated from the 1001 facts of the world.

why i'm going to her place? to accompany my cousin, who was tricked into getting his hair dyed. sighs. but i also need the internet to check for details about my upcoming camp, as well as to do more research for my role as a south africa delegate.

i don't want south africa! there's a lot of case studies that rachel (my co-partner) and i got to rebutt and fight for. it's hell tiring. guess what assembly we're in? world health organisation. we're so screwed.

i just don't understand why it cannot be switzerland or canada. they'd be much easier to represent. lesser case studies to fight and debate.

i've a bad premonition that i'm going to catch a bad sore throat, or worse, lose my voice! ahhhh.

saddening. but after the camp are my dates with my DARLING friends. so i'm sure that it'll shock my voice into returning to my vocal chords.

(: laughs.

azri is sooooo lame.

you know i love you, baby.