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Monday, November 12, 2007

bryan told me not to worry of what others think of me.
so here goes.

first, i'll start by apologising to wenson for being irreasonable.
for jumping to conclusions.

secondly, i'm feeling super bored at home.
there's this void that i experience, simply because there's nothing demanding my attention.
huilong's insisting that he stop playing computer games and has chosen to..
*drumrolls
chosen to do the holiday assignments as well as start on revision!
when i read this blog, i swore that i had a migraine.
simply because i raked a brain to find an instance whereby i was doing revision.
the only time i could think of was before the promotional exams.
realising his firm intent to be studious scared the socks off me.

honestly, i want to stop playing maple, well, not really stop.
but play it on a leisure basis.
honestly speaking, i feel so clogged up.
the emptiness i experience is so overwhelming that playing maple becomes a reflex.
a reflex aimed at distracting my head.
enabling myself to ignore the fact that i'm lonely and miserable, albeit temporarily.
the moment i turn off the computer, the realisation hits me again and again.

madeline called me just now and we talked for, umm, three hours?
it was like an answered prayer.
well, i don't deny that i still feel miserable cause i've been at home for days!
however, at the very least, i managed to talk it out.
it made me feel much better.
she's fine at the states but the conversation made me realise how much i miss the friendship.

cassandra says that we'll go out soon.
i hope the soon is really soon.
we're having sushi.
uhhh, i'm also organising a sushi dinner for oh-eight.
doesnt matter.
i'm a sucker for sushi anyway.
so, i'll enjoy having a lunch and dinner of sushi.
i can't wait to put a heap of wasabe on each, so that my mouth burns!
sadistic thoughts.

i think i should go out running tomorrow.
take a leaf out of angela lai's book.
perhaps the endorphins released can help me be calmer.

on a final note.
thanks bryan for being there for me just now.
i would have cracked today if not for the fact that you and madeline came along.

i'm tired of being cooped up at home.
it SUCKS, big time.